We will miss them

The circus is packing up. Got the call from the attorney on Monday afternoon that she felt much better about the kinship placement so Z & KK will be going to live with their Auntie on Thursday. As I told all 3 of the hatched kids I could see the sadness. They will definitely miss them. Perhaps it will be hardest on Camille. She & KK have become such good friends. I'm sure that we will all have our sad moments, but then when the house is without crying or whining or poopy pants, I'm sure we'll be ok. A is the only one that is excited to see them go. She thanked God in her prayers for sending Z to Auntie's house. She is looking forward to the calm and in getting more attention. I don't think that she will be with us much longer either. How quickly our home will change.
I find that when I blog on the iPhone that my thoughts are much more concise. I guess its because its just my thumb talking and when I add all 10 fingers together my thoughts can ramble a lot faster. I was the fastest typist in high school. Probably not quite as fast these days.
Camille & KK came downstairs yesterday and said they wanted to have a party on Saturday. I said that KK would be at Auntie's house so let's do it on Wednesday. Camille looked at me with big eyes and said, Auntie's house forever? Yes, I said. KK didn't seem bothered by it at all. The two set off to make a shopping list for me and an invitation list. Spent most of Monday evening working on it.
I peeked in on Z last night and there's nothing sweeter than a sleeping kid. Brought Madeline & Lucas in with me and couldn't help but have a few tears slip away. We love him so much. Especially when he's sleeping.
Tuesday is always an interesting day because of supervised visits. I never know exactly what our schedule will be depending on if KK & Z's mommy will be there for the visit. She couldn't come today because she got a job and couldn't get off work. I am happy for the job and hope that it brings a steady routine to her life. A got to go to the visit by herself. She was skipping with glee around the house. Only bad thing is that she came home with a new frilly nightgown and new toys. This is a normal thing but usually KK & Z go so they get the new loot, too. Unfortunately they didn't get anything today. Neither of them said anything but it sure as heck bothered me. My parents and Todd's parents have treated all the children the same, hatched or unhatched, everyone got Valentine's. I don't understand how she doesn't treat the children the same. I know she's raised one as her daughter and the other 2 are in the grandkids role, but everyone should get the same presents.
While I'm on my soap box, I must also mention the fact, that I am extremely aggravated with the snacks A's mommy brings her. Hamburger, chips, super size sprite, beef jerky, olives, and I'm not sure what else. Did I mention that A's lost 10 pounds since living with us? I am so afraid that everything we've worked so hard on is going to be lost when she returns home. Our case manager has asked for me to write down all the healthy things A will eat. I'm going to document a whole lifestyle for her. I want her to be healthy and fit. She is such a beautiful child.
Spent the day doing laundry and inventory of KK & Z's things. Anytime a kid comes or goes, I have to inventory their stuff. It would have gone much faster if Z hadn't of dumped the 2 tubs of clothes that I had already organized. I guess its kind of a healing process to fold, count, and pack their clothes away. KK helped with packing her toys since I wasn't sure which belong to her and which are A's. I decided I better have A come in too because KK sometimes likes to claim A's things as her own. We had to call Camille in for the deciding vote on several of the toys. During all of this KK just goes on like normal. She isn't sad. She isn't happy. So hard to pin point how she is feeling. She is excited about getting a party tomorrow. I'm also bringing treats for her class.
Got all the little ones to bed and Camille comes into the kitchen and says, why do they have to go? I pick her up and hold her. She is such a tough little girl. She refuses to cry but I can see her heart is so sad. I tell her that KK & Z were only suppose to be with us 2 weeks and we got to have them for 2 months. We have been blessed by their presence in our home. I go up and tuck her in and she again asks why they must leave. I then go into a more detailed explanation of the foster care process. I think she might get it. I can't say that we've had that much of a discussion about it before.
Got all settled with my laptop and Todd joins me at the table. Everyone has been drawing close and wanting to talk about all that is going on with the precious children in our home. I know I don't have to explain it to him as I have Camille, but I do try and reassure him that KK & Z will be ok.
Tomorrow I will take my shopping list and get the party ready for my KK & my Z to leave. Yes, tears are falling as I type. I will miss them. I am so thankful for the love they've put in my heart.