What a day. Yes, I must be a stress eater because 2 cinnamon rolls & a Hershey bar(meant for s'mores) are now gone. Took A to the dentist and she did a fabulous job, of course. She loved the water squirter and water soaker up thing. Dr. Clapp was fabulous and got into playing water squirt with her. But, since when have I ever got teary, and certainly not THREE times at the dentist. Good grief, I am going soft(just like Mel & Sherri). It absolutely broke my heart to listen to the lengthy list of what is wrong with A's teeth as Dr. Clapp gave it to his assistant. I guess to summarize would be almost $3000 worth of work. She's 4!!! This is also the first time that I could feel rage billowing in my inner self towards the adults that haven't taken care of her teeth. It has also made be appreciate good ole Medicare. In essence, she is a little time bomb waiting for some serious pain in her mouth. I'll let everyone know when she's goes for the work so BIG prayers can be lifted up.
I haven't bragged on my Lukey boy in awhile but tonight he really stood out. We were going into dance to get Camille & a lady in front of him dropped something. He said,"Ma'am, you dropped something." Ohh, my heart swelled with pride for such the good southern gentleman he is. He also rescued the day when A and Camille had a small incident in the bathroom. They aren't suppose to brush their teeth at the same time, for this very reason. I tell Camille that it would sure be nice if she would apologize to A. She says, "thats not going to happen." Nice. Anyways, super Lucas sweeps in and reads to A while I deal with Camille. I could hear the 2 of them just laughing. No telling what he was reading to her.
I'm missing Gram & Gramps and the extra hands they provided last week. Even if we got no where near done the projects I had hoped for. I did create a little more time for myself by firing myself from some of my responsibilities for Texas Fenestration. Thank goodness Shelley agreed to come back on board and help me. Its amazing how much time an easy child such as A is, especially with appointments, documents, and all the little stuff. I'm not complaining. I am enjoying her so much!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Remembering the Nursery
It is hilariously funny to see Camille brushing A's teeth or cutting up her food for her. What you may not know is that A is bigger than Camille, not taller, but bigger. I can't say that its happening all the time but still to see Camille in big sis role is so fabulous.
Remember the first time you took your baby to the nursery at church? Well, it happened for me again today, only I think it was even more stressful this time around. I explained repeatedly what A was going to do, where I would be, and that if she needed me for any reason to just ask the teacher. We had done our practice run last week with A & I attending Camille's class. A looks at me with her big brown eyes and says you will come and get me? I explain to the teachers that if she even whispers my name to have them page me. I am so nervous about it. Its not like I was abandoning her, but I kept wondering if that's what she was thinking. I took my sticker with her number on it and put it smack dab on my jeans where I wouldn't lose it. I kept waiting for a number to go up on the board during worship just so that I would know that it was working. I didn't' get paged!! I did leave early just so I could get a little peek, plus I didn't want to get caught in the mass of people. She ran to me saying "Nina!" I hugged and kissed her and everything was all right. She loved it! This week I'll work on getting her into preschool. I know she will love it, too.
Super Todd took the lil girls to Tangled today while the big kiddos watched Harry Bottom(well, at least that's what Lucas calls Harry Potter). I stayed home for a luxurious 2 hours by myself, only to de"fall" and get Christmas decorations under control. Its amazing what can be accomplished when you are by yourself.
I am thankful for a fantastic Thanksgiving week with family! Now bring on December.
Remember the first time you took your baby to the nursery at church? Well, it happened for me again today, only I think it was even more stressful this time around. I explained repeatedly what A was going to do, where I would be, and that if she needed me for any reason to just ask the teacher. We had done our practice run last week with A & I attending Camille's class. A looks at me with her big brown eyes and says you will come and get me? I explain to the teachers that if she even whispers my name to have them page me. I am so nervous about it. Its not like I was abandoning her, but I kept wondering if that's what she was thinking. I took my sticker with her number on it and put it smack dab on my jeans where I wouldn't lose it. I kept waiting for a number to go up on the board during worship just so that I would know that it was working. I didn't' get paged!! I did leave early just so I could get a little peek, plus I didn't want to get caught in the mass of people. She ran to me saying "Nina!" I hugged and kissed her and everything was all right. She loved it! This week I'll work on getting her into preschool. I know she will love it, too.
Super Todd took the lil girls to Tangled today while the big kiddos watched Harry Bottom(well, at least that's what Lucas calls Harry Potter). I stayed home for a luxurious 2 hours by myself, only to de"fall" and get Christmas decorations under control. Its amazing what can be accomplished when you are by yourself.
I am thankful for a fantastic Thanksgiving week with family! Now bring on December.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Too Much Stuff
Its so interesting to see the dynamics of a family of five change with the addition of one. I think it has probably opened Madeline's eyes the most. She has complained of Camille not playing nice with A, and I frankly point out where Camille learned that. A time of growing for all of us. A is doing so great. No tears at bedtime. Hasn't cried out for mommy once today or said that she wanted to go home. 10 days and what a miracle she is. She has fully adopted Big Hair for Madeline's name. I'm often called "My Nina", especially when Gram is around. I think A likes to show a little ownership. She is so easy and has opened herself up to so many new people. We are so enjoying having Gram & Gramps here, even if their RV sits out front.
I think that we could probably house at least 2 other girls with the amount of clothes we have in my girls' closets. But that is slowly changing. I am weeding stuff out, sorting between the 3 girls and getting rid of stuff. I would ask that each of you consider doing the same. There are so many people who are in need and so many places where we can donate our stuff. And, while I clearly know we have too much stuff there's still that voice that says, well if you get rid of that won't there be room for something new? Particularly for Camille. She is the most fun of anyone in the house to buy clothes for. That girl has a sassy style. Speaking of Camille, it makes my heart grow when I hear her & A playing for a couple of hours tonight. Please continue the prayers, because they are working! I know its hard for Camille, especially because A makes us laugh so much. I am proud of the small moments, such as Camille getting A's tennis shoes on her and even tieing them.
I guess next up for prayer requests will be for A as she has both dentist and doctor visits next week. Dentist on Tuesday and Doc on Thursday. I'm more nervous about the teeth. Thanks for joining me in my prayers for our A.
I think that we could probably house at least 2 other girls with the amount of clothes we have in my girls' closets. But that is slowly changing. I am weeding stuff out, sorting between the 3 girls and getting rid of stuff. I would ask that each of you consider doing the same. There are so many people who are in need and so many places where we can donate our stuff. And, while I clearly know we have too much stuff there's still that voice that says, well if you get rid of that won't there be room for something new? Particularly for Camille. She is the most fun of anyone in the house to buy clothes for. That girl has a sassy style. Speaking of Camille, it makes my heart grow when I hear her & A playing for a couple of hours tonight. Please continue the prayers, because they are working! I know its hard for Camille, especially because A makes us laugh so much. I am proud of the small moments, such as Camille getting A's tennis shoes on her and even tieing them.
I guess next up for prayer requests will be for A as she has both dentist and doctor visits next week. Dentist on Tuesday and Doc on Thursday. I'm more nervous about the teeth. Thanks for joining me in my prayers for our A.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Are you being rude?
What a beautiful day in Texas. Shorts, sunshine, playing outside, Camille even took a dip in the pool, or rather 3 quick jump-ins. Probably too good to last but we sure are enjoying it. Just caught a glimpse of Lucas & Madeline's new cold weather gear to do the 5K Turkey run tomorrow. Goodbye warm weather! I told Todd, I might have run if I'd known a new wardrobe was in store. Hope they are quiet when they leave. Only reason Madeline is going is because of coffee at Starbucks on the way there.
I waited impatiently to hear from A's case manager all morning long about her court date today. She did not have to be there. So much to learn about "the system". Case manager called about noon and said that A gets to stay with us. I guess case manager, CASA, and both mom and grandma thought it was in A's best interest to keep staying with us instead of trying to find some family member who could keep her until mom or grandma can get her back. Yea! It looks like thru Christmas at least.
Please add Camille to your prayers as she's having a tough time with the "competition". She's being pretty rough on A. Of course A keeps us all in line with the reminder of "Are you being rude?" Rude, not me. I did have a heart wrencher of a question from Camille when she asked if I loved A more than her. I said how long have I loved you? I told her since she was a tiny baby in my tummy. Then I said how long have I loved A? And Camille gives me her little grin. Hopefully we can get into a better routine & continue to show everyone how much they are loved.
I waited impatiently to hear from A's case manager all morning long about her court date today. She did not have to be there. So much to learn about "the system". Case manager called about noon and said that A gets to stay with us. I guess case manager, CASA, and both mom and grandma thought it was in A's best interest to keep staying with us instead of trying to find some family member who could keep her until mom or grandma can get her back. Yea! It looks like thru Christmas at least.
Please add Camille to your prayers as she's having a tough time with the "competition". She's being pretty rough on A. Of course A keeps us all in line with the reminder of "Are you being rude?" Rude, not me. I did have a heart wrencher of a question from Camille when she asked if I loved A more than her. I said how long have I loved you? I told her since she was a tiny baby in my tummy. Then I said how long have I loved A? And Camille gives me her little grin. Hopefully we can get into a better routine & continue to show everyone how much they are loved.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Olives When We Get Back Home
Why do I wonder or worry? Another day of being reassured by God of the path that we are taking and of His mighty hand in all things. Today was the supervised visit for A. I hadn't said anything to her about the visit until today because I was worried that something might change. I spoke with both the case manager and our CK manager about how to make this visit the best it could be on her. It wasn't so much that I was nervous about seeing her relatives, it was concern for how heartbroken she would be on the way home.
She has discovered a new activity of standing and looking in the refrigerator or looking into the pantry. She discovered a can of olives and wanted to have some. I said we would after her visit with mommy. Thus was our motto of the day, we'll have olives when we get back to the house.
We drove almost an hour and she had the pleasure of viewing Barbie Swan Lake in the luxury van. She did ask a few times "where we going?" I pulled into what I thought was the destination, but discovered it wasn't. Tried to get the stupid iPhone to pull up a new map but it wouldn't. A says,"Nina, CPS is up there." And wowsers, she's right. It made me think of how smart this 4 year old is but it also made me sad because why should she have to know where cps is. Stinkin world. We walk in and of course, there's a line, and I have to sign in and state why I'm there. Soon we get to go back to the visitors room. The case manager brings in a little 2 year old boy who is A's little half bro. He giggles and gives her a big hug. I'm not sure that she knows what to do. Pretty soon in comes bio mom and boyfriend. She's older than the 18 years I thought she might be. She is a beautiful young woman. She is teary when she hugs A and is very kind to me. She thanks me for taking care of A. She says A's hair looks so soft and pretty, I don't brag by telling her I am the funky-do master. I tell A I'll see her in a little while.
Now I have an 1 1/2. Taco Bell, McDonalds, Starbucks, Pizza Hut, or DQ. I take a little step back in time to my roots and go for a buster bar at DQ all by myself. Best one that I have ever had. Its also the first time in over a week I have been by myself. I definitely enjoyed the buster bar more than the time alone. And no, Todd, I didn't eat more than one! i head back to cps and have a small panic moment when I think that A's grandma might actually see inside my van. I look for a car wash on the way back but nope. I do a quick stash of an entire closet's worth of clothes and accessories into the very back and kick the goldfish crumbs, popcorn kernels and who knows what, under the floor mats. I mean, my house is darn near perfect ALL the time so it doesn't usually matter too much if the van is squalor. After all, its not even my squalor, its those three kids that travel with me.
I went back with 15 minutes left to the visit and got to go back and meet A's grandma, the one she calls mommy. Grandma immediately got teary and started thanking me. She'd brought many of A's special things and told me about foods she likes. It is easy to see where the kindness A exhibits comes from. When we left it was with a hug to A and a hug to me. We put on our best marching and marched to the van. Buckled her in and handed her the treats mommy had given her. I said we would see mommy in a week. No tears, no questions, all is calm. Thank you God for taking care of this sweet girl. Thank you for letting her feel safe in our home. We get home and open the can of olives. After all, I love black olives, too.
She has discovered a new activity of standing and looking in the refrigerator or looking into the pantry. She discovered a can of olives and wanted to have some. I said we would after her visit with mommy. Thus was our motto of the day, we'll have olives when we get back to the house.
We drove almost an hour and she had the pleasure of viewing Barbie Swan Lake in the luxury van. She did ask a few times "where we going?" I pulled into what I thought was the destination, but discovered it wasn't. Tried to get the stupid iPhone to pull up a new map but it wouldn't. A says,"Nina, CPS is up there." And wowsers, she's right. It made me think of how smart this 4 year old is but it also made me sad because why should she have to know where cps is. Stinkin world. We walk in and of course, there's a line, and I have to sign in and state why I'm there. Soon we get to go back to the visitors room. The case manager brings in a little 2 year old boy who is A's little half bro. He giggles and gives her a big hug. I'm not sure that she knows what to do. Pretty soon in comes bio mom and boyfriend. She's older than the 18 years I thought she might be. She is a beautiful young woman. She is teary when she hugs A and is very kind to me. She thanks me for taking care of A. She says A's hair looks so soft and pretty, I don't brag by telling her I am the funky-do master. I tell A I'll see her in a little while.
Now I have an 1 1/2. Taco Bell, McDonalds, Starbucks, Pizza Hut, or DQ. I take a little step back in time to my roots and go for a buster bar at DQ all by myself. Best one that I have ever had. Its also the first time in over a week I have been by myself. I definitely enjoyed the buster bar more than the time alone. And no, Todd, I didn't eat more than one! i head back to cps and have a small panic moment when I think that A's grandma might actually see inside my van. I look for a car wash on the way back but nope. I do a quick stash of an entire closet's worth of clothes and accessories into the very back and kick the goldfish crumbs, popcorn kernels and who knows what, under the floor mats. I mean, my house is darn near perfect ALL the time so it doesn't usually matter too much if the van is squalor. After all, its not even my squalor, its those three kids that travel with me.
I went back with 15 minutes left to the visit and got to go back and meet A's grandma, the one she calls mommy. Grandma immediately got teary and started thanking me. She'd brought many of A's special things and told me about foods she likes. It is easy to see where the kindness A exhibits comes from. When we left it was with a hug to A and a hug to me. We put on our best marching and marched to the van. Buckled her in and handed her the treats mommy had given her. I said we would see mommy in a week. No tears, no questions, all is calm. Thank you God for taking care of this sweet girl. Thank you for letting her feel safe in our home. We get home and open the can of olives. After all, I love black olives, too.
Monday
It is great having the kids home and particularly good for A to have built in playmates. I loved it when she told me she was playing with my girl and when I asked her which one, she said the one with the big hair. Madeline & I had a good laugh over that one. Big hair Madeline, not a bad thing for a girl in Texas.
Monday, we were taking off for the zoo and then discovered it closed at 4. Thank goodness for kid kastle. Playing, feeding ducks, and flying kites. A beautiful day in Texas. And even more beautiful getting to see it thru the eye's of this beautiful child that has been loaned to us.
I picked A and Lucas to go to the grocery store with me. A perfect choice. No fights, no fussing, and lots of laughs. I find they have similar personalities. Both of which I love! Thank God for a great start to our Thanksgiving week.
Monday, we were taking off for the zoo and then discovered it closed at 4. Thank goodness for kid kastle. Playing, feeding ducks, and flying kites. A beautiful day in Texas. And even more beautiful getting to see it thru the eye's of this beautiful child that has been loaned to us.
I picked A and Lucas to go to the grocery store with me. A perfect choice. No fights, no fussing, and lots of laughs. I find they have similar personalities. Both of which I love! Thank God for a great start to our Thanksgiving week.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Blessing of a Day
Sunday, my favorite day of the week. I love church and it gears me up for the week. I struggled with what to do about church today since Lucas had a lacrosse game at 8:50 and 10:30. I guess what made my final decision, even more than the weather report, was the fact that A talks about going to church and had even asked me if I sing at church. I gather that her mommy must sing in the church choir. So, we girls went to church while Lucas & Todd did lacrosse. Lucas is playing his first season of lacrosse and loves it. It is just rough enough to excite him. Get to church and not knowing how long A will be with us I don't feel like I can just send her off to the 4 year old class. Thanks to Matt T., we get to go with Camille to her class. Of course, it helps that my friend, Kimberly K. is the teacher! A loves the class and especially worship time, which is rockin' at the Village Church. It made me miss serving in children's ministries. Miss Kimberly did happen to mention that Camille was very sassy today. I said this was my normal child. I guess she's normally quiet and reserved. So glad I bring out the best in my kids. Got a text from Todd that the "Bad News Bears" were losing 15-0 at the first game. Ouch. They did come back and win the 2nd game.
I hate to admit it, but I do have one small flaw. That is I watch the Young and the Restless every day. I dvr it and look forward to the night when everyone else is asleep and i can watch my soap opera. I have found lately that listening to A is a little bit lik
e listening to a soap opera that I have never listened to before. It has a vaguely familiar plot but the characters names are very unfamiliar. She'll mention different plots and subcharacters and I just can't plug it all together. She has a supervised visit on Tuesday. I'm not sure if I'll get to meet any of the characters from the soap opera that day or not. I am worried about the visit and what it will do to sweet A after we leave.
I have to say that my entire family is awesome. Lazy a** Madeline gets MVP for the day. She willingly got off the sofa to go play with A. She must have played at least 2 hours with her outside today. It does my heart proud to see Madeline rise to the occasion. I guess I'd hoped that everyone would step up to the plate and help in taking care of A, and everyone has far exceeded my expectations. A even let Todd brush her teeth and read to her tonight. That way I got some extra Camilley time. At dinner tonight A says, "i like being here." The truth is, we like having her here. Thanks be to God for this huge blessing of a day.
I hate to admit it, but I do have one small flaw. That is I watch the Young and the Restless every day. I dvr it and look forward to the night when everyone else is asleep and i can watch my soap opera. I have found lately that listening to A is a little bit lik
e listening to a soap opera that I have never listened to before. It has a vaguely familiar plot but the characters names are very unfamiliar. She'll mention different plots and subcharacters and I just can't plug it all together. She has a supervised visit on Tuesday. I'm not sure if I'll get to meet any of the characters from the soap opera that day or not. I am worried about the visit and what it will do to sweet A after we leave.I have to say that my entire family is awesome. Lazy a** Madeline gets MVP for the day. She willingly got off the sofa to go play with A. She must have played at least 2 hours with her outside today. It does my heart proud to see Madeline rise to the occasion. I guess I'd hoped that everyone would step up to the plate and help in taking care of A, and everyone has far exceeded my expectations. A even let Todd brush her teeth and read to her tonight. That way I got some extra Camilley time. At dinner tonight A says, "i like being here." The truth is, we like having her here. Thanks be to God for this huge blessing of a day.
Where is Her
Ok, Camille has a new hero. Kenna. I don't know many 5th grade girls who would come over and demo how to do the neti-pot or rather neti-squirter, sinus rinse thing. I about drowned Camille trying it, so Kenna & Becky to the rescue. We'll see how it goes when she does it by herself. She wanted Kenna to come back and help her. Of course, we'd keep Kenna any day.
A was showing some strong allegiance to Todd or Buddy as she calls him. My niece & nephew call us Aunt Nina & Uncle Buddy so A has been calling us Buddy & Nina. A wanted to ride in Buddy's car yesterday. She also insisted that he sit by her in the van. She even chose him over Princess Madeline! I was beginning to think I was going to have to pull out my super burping powers, because, truth be known, I can blow Todd out of the water any day. But, I didn't have to. As soon as she & Todd walked in the house, it was "Where is Her, Where is Her?" And as soon as I appear, she laughs. It is so contagious.
In the confusion of the middle of the night, she calls out for mommy. I say "I'm coming". When she sees me, she says, "Hi, Nina." I tell her that its still dark and to go back to sleep. ok. I tell her I love her and she says that she loves me too. My heart is so full.
A was showing some strong allegiance to Todd or Buddy as she calls him. My niece & nephew call us Aunt Nina & Uncle Buddy so A has been calling us Buddy & Nina. A wanted to ride in Buddy's car yesterday. She also insisted that he sit by her in the van. She even chose him over Princess Madeline! I was beginning to think I was going to have to pull out my super burping powers, because, truth be known, I can blow Todd out of the water any day. But, I didn't have to. As soon as she & Todd walked in the house, it was "Where is Her, Where is Her?" And as soon as I appear, she laughs. It is so contagious.
In the confusion of the middle of the night, she calls out for mommy. I say "I'm coming". When she sees me, she says, "Hi, Nina." I tell her that its still dark and to go back to sleep. ok. I tell her I love her and she says that she loves me too. My heart is so full.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Temporary Home
I've been a Carrie Underwood fan since her American Idol debut. We've always had her songs but when Temporary Home came out, it touched my heart. I fully believe in heaven and what a wonderful place it will be. When Madeline had to make a poster and one of the things on it was "What I fear" her answer was dieing. I had to pull out the Carrie song and we went over the chorus.
"This is my temporary home It's not where I belong Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going I'm not afraid because I know this is my Temporary Home."
We are definitely heaven bound. Slipping in our travels at time but striving to do God's will.
I'm cleaning the bathrooms this morning and we are listening to Temporary Home and I am overcome with emotion. Why had I never considered my house as being the temporary home? The windows & rooms that she is passing thru. I am so thankful for home and that we can share it with God's lil angel, A.
"Little boy, 6 years old A little too used to bein' alone Another new mom and dad,another school Another house that'll never be home When people ask him how he likes this place He looks up and says with a smile upon his face"
And that is exactly the blessing that A is to us, because as I listened to this song, I see this sweet spirit skipping in my kitchen. Thank you God for sending me messages in ways it may take me a while to see.
"This is my temporary home It's not where I belong Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going I'm not afraid because I know this is my Temporary Home."
We are definitely heaven bound. Slipping in our travels at time but striving to do God's will.
I'm cleaning the bathrooms this morning and we are listening to Temporary Home and I am overcome with emotion. Why had I never considered my house as being the temporary home? The windows & rooms that she is passing thru. I am so thankful for home and that we can share it with God's lil angel, A.
"Little boy, 6 years old A little too used to bein' alone Another new mom and dad,another school Another house that'll never be home When people ask him how he likes this place He looks up and says with a smile upon his face"
And that is exactly the blessing that A is to us, because as I listened to this song, I see this sweet spirit skipping in my kitchen. Thank you God for sending me messages in ways it may take me a while to see.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Double Woo Hoo
The midnight movie goers had a great time. Now, Universal Studios is calling to Madeline to go to the Harry Potter park. Didn't do much good for my sleep with the nightowls coming and going.
Have you ever had a shadow that thought you were absolutely the funniest thing? Well, I do. It is such a self esteem boost. Of course, when Todd burps a big one and A laughs till her tummy hurts, the self esteem boost for Todd is a lil much. She has certainly captured his attention.
I thought I would beat the system today by having bathtime in the morning since it turns teary at night when she is so tired. Well, turns out that bath time must bring tears no matter when it is. The great thing is that she took a 2 hour nap and praise God she fell asleep without one single sweet tear. Camille said, she didn't cry tonight. Woo Hoo. The only bad thing is that we probably permanently scarred her from venturing into the jungle. The Rainforest Cafe turned out to be way to much. She thought the elephants, parrots, and fish were hilarious, but the gorillas had her crawled so tightly in my lap and under my neck that I couldn't have gotten her off there if I wanted to. She & I ditched the cafe & all was better. I told her I was so sorry. She said it was ok.
By the way, a new weight loss program, get a four year old! 2 lbs this week. Woo Hoo!
Have you ever had a shadow that thought you were absolutely the funniest thing? Well, I do. It is such a self esteem boost. Of course, when Todd burps a big one and A laughs till her tummy hurts, the self esteem boost for Todd is a lil much. She has certainly captured his attention.
I thought I would beat the system today by having bathtime in the morning since it turns teary at night when she is so tired. Well, turns out that bath time must bring tears no matter when it is. The great thing is that she took a 2 hour nap and praise God she fell asleep without one single sweet tear. Camille said, she didn't cry tonight. Woo Hoo. The only bad thing is that we probably permanently scarred her from venturing into the jungle. The Rainforest Cafe turned out to be way to much. She thought the elephants, parrots, and fish were hilarious, but the gorillas had her crawled so tightly in my lap and under my neck that I couldn't have gotten her off there if I wanted to. She & I ditched the cafe & all was better. I told her I was so sorry. She said it was ok.
By the way, a new weight loss program, get a four year old! 2 lbs this week. Woo Hoo!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Slippers
Madeline wears slippers to school today so we make plans to go get A some slippers too. I refrain from just buying her anything and everything at her fav store, good old Wal-Mart. She loves to touch things but always asks before she does. Is this kid for real, I think?
My phone rings more than ever. Follow up calls with cps, attorney, case manager, dr., dentist, I'm not sure what all else. My phone is dropping calls like crazy. A tells me I need to go to the phone store. Its a new world and I'm keeping my fingers crossed I'm doing everything right. Did I mention how amazing she is? She entertains herself while i am doing my chores and she wants to join right in.
We get the slippers, and Kristi & Kara bring by some sweet, soft pajamas. I have such good support. Another teary bedtime. I've got to get this kid a nap so this doesn't happen. She woke up at about 5 this morning and can't find the pacie(I hate pacifiers). I'm thinking I'm way too old to crawl under that bed to find it. She tells me that the pacie fairy must have taken it. No fit, no tears, no nothing. Wow. Goes back to sleep. Its so eerie how well adjusted this child is. Nothing in our foster care training said it would be like this.
Camille comes down and says her pjs she's suppose to wear to school tomorrow have a hole in the knee. Come on, Joyce, sew up the holes before you pass them down. A quick trip to Old Navy and she is now equipped. I wonder how many parents had to go by public worthy pajamas for their kids to wear to school? Camille squeals with delight with the new goods and I am so glad I got the cute puppy slippers, too. Camille got teary tonight when A was crying to go home. Camille said she was so sad because A is so sad. Me, too, I say. All of our hearts are forever changed. Camille has said she wouldn't be able to be without us. I assure her that that won't happen. I'm trying to make sure everyone has their special time. It works out well with A going to bed so early, plenty of time for my sweet babies. We don't know how long she'll be with us. But, man, I am so thankful for her and so humbled by her sweet spirit.
Better catch some sleep while I can. I think T & Madeline are going to see Harry Potter at midnight. Not me, I'm too tired. Oh, one more story. You probably haven't noticed but I think almost every children's book mentions mommy or daddy, or some kind of family matter. Tonight we are reading a book and I switch the word mommy to friend. I'm almost 40 and I thought that was pretty smart. Well, the just turned 4 year old tells me at the end, "thats not a friend, thats the mommy." Amazing.
My phone rings more than ever. Follow up calls with cps, attorney, case manager, dr., dentist, I'm not sure what all else. My phone is dropping calls like crazy. A tells me I need to go to the phone store. Its a new world and I'm keeping my fingers crossed I'm doing everything right. Did I mention how amazing she is? She entertains herself while i am doing my chores and she wants to join right in.
We get the slippers, and Kristi & Kara bring by some sweet, soft pajamas. I have such good support. Another teary bedtime. I've got to get this kid a nap so this doesn't happen. She woke up at about 5 this morning and can't find the pacie(I hate pacifiers). I'm thinking I'm way too old to crawl under that bed to find it. She tells me that the pacie fairy must have taken it. No fit, no tears, no nothing. Wow. Goes back to sleep. Its so eerie how well adjusted this child is. Nothing in our foster care training said it would be like this.
Camille comes down and says her pjs she's suppose to wear to school tomorrow have a hole in the knee. Come on, Joyce, sew up the holes before you pass them down. A quick trip to Old Navy and she is now equipped. I wonder how many parents had to go by public worthy pajamas for their kids to wear to school? Camille squeals with delight with the new goods and I am so glad I got the cute puppy slippers, too. Camille got teary tonight when A was crying to go home. Camille said she was so sad because A is so sad. Me, too, I say. All of our hearts are forever changed. Camille has said she wouldn't be able to be without us. I assure her that that won't happen. I'm trying to make sure everyone has their special time. It works out well with A going to bed so early, plenty of time for my sweet babies. We don't know how long she'll be with us. But, man, I am so thankful for her and so humbled by her sweet spirit.
Better catch some sleep while I can. I think T & Madeline are going to see Harry Potter at midnight. Not me, I'm too tired. Oh, one more story. You probably haven't noticed but I think almost every children's book mentions mommy or daddy, or some kind of family matter. Tonight we are reading a book and I switch the word mommy to friend. I'm almost 40 and I thought that was pretty smart. Well, the just turned 4 year old tells me at the end, "thats not a friend, thats the mommy." Amazing.
Wednesday
I forget what its like to have Madeline in play practice. I hardly ever see her. The week is flying by. A is so comfortable with herself. It is really beginning to hit me what an amazing child she is. Her "mommy" has loved her so much. Darn crummy choices and now I can't imagine how lonely A's mommy must be.
Todd and A are now singing the "I say potato, you say potato" song as we have lunch together. They are quite the comedy singing duo. She sits down with the book I read to her at bedtime the night before and recalls the main story line as she tells it to all of use while we are eating breakfast. I quickly discover she's not much of an eater, but does like goldfish crackers, who doesn't? At dinner she joins in peeling carrots with Camille & lucas. She loves to be outside. Thanks Tracey for the scooter and Tonia for the bike. Ask and ye shall receive.
I have a small meltdown after getting her settled into bed. My heart is just breaking for her mommy. I mean this kid is so much better behaved than mine. She is reminding mine to walk beside me. She is patient, tender, and so very funny. I'm just so sick about her missing her mommy so much and can't imagine how lonely her mommy is.
Todd and A are now singing the "I say potato, you say potato" song as we have lunch together. They are quite the comedy singing duo. She sits down with the book I read to her at bedtime the night before and recalls the main story line as she tells it to all of use while we are eating breakfast. I quickly discover she's not much of an eater, but does like goldfish crackers, who doesn't? At dinner she joins in peeling carrots with Camille & lucas. She loves to be outside. Thanks Tracey for the scooter and Tonia for the bike. Ask and ye shall receive.
I have a small meltdown after getting her settled into bed. My heart is just breaking for her mommy. I mean this kid is so much better behaved than mine. She is reminding mine to walk beside me. She is patient, tender, and so very funny. I'm just so sick about her missing her mommy so much and can't imagine how lonely her mommy is.
Bedtime
Ugh, bedtime. Mainly the only time when my heart actually melts as A cries that she wants to go home. It lasts but maybe 5 to 10 minutes and she is so amazing. I rub her sweet back and she falls asleep. Thank you God for bringing her to us. She wakes up a few times calling for mommy. I'm coming. She doesn't know my name. I forget that this little girl has just turned four. She is so exhausted from playing so hard all day. When 6 hits she just can't do it anymore and all she wants is to go home.
Oh, I can't believe I forgot, I also got the call from Madeline on Monday that she got a part in the school play. I am so proud of her! The Music Man will be performed in February.
Oh, I can't believe I forgot, I also got the call from Madeline on Monday that she got a part in the school play. I am so proud of her! The Music Man will be performed in February.
Seeing things thru a new set of eyes
You know how you hear horrible stories about kids in foster care arriving with their things in a plastic sack. I have now seen it with my own eyes. What is even more sad or more heartwarming is that the maybe 8 articles in there were all with tags from probably a thrift store. I was thinking someone sent A with the best they could do. No worries though, God provides. 3 weeks ago I was texting Joyce about the ridiculous amount of hand me downs that we had accumulated for Camille. I think I'd counted 24 outfits. That wasn't even including the things that didn't quite fit her that I had set in the playroom. For some reason I didn't add them to the pile I took to CCA. Now I know why. They fit her perfectly. We have managed to pull together quite an ok wardrobe for A. Thank you God for seeing ahead to things I wouldn't know about.
Our first morning A plops herself down at the kitchen table like she's been doing it for years. She laughs at all of us like we are the best comedians ever. Her laugh is so contagious, we all look at each other and laugh even more. A wants to go with me to take the kids to school. It is so neat to see things thru her eyes. We take for granted the garage door opener, the ice in the fridge, the pumpkin in the yard. Thanks Kris for giving her a pumpkin. We get everyone off to school and our day begins. Get the call from Camille's doc and the head scan is clear but there is a sinus infection. 21 days of antibiotics twice a day. Good grief. Poor thing. Luckily she can toss back a pill like a pro.
A and I begin our day. Play dough, paint, all those things I love. She isn't a tv girl and doesn't seem to even know who Shrek is. That is awesome. We make our first journey out. Discover her fav color is green as we go thru the bank drivethru. She likes music and keeps telling me to turn it up. No wonder she, Todd & Lucas have so much in common. We arrive at Target to get her new toy. She says she isn't going to use her pacie. I believe it. BTW, she found it in her coat pocket that morning. She touches every button on every toy in the toy section. She points to the moon sand kit, and yes, I 'm still hard hearted, because I say thats kind of messy. Ok, she says in stride. No fit, no nothin. Where are my kids to see this? She doesn't ask for a thing the whole trip. She settles on a giant squishy type ball that she finds very hilarious. Ok, I'm not too hard hearted, because the pacie does make its way back to the scene at bedtime that night.
She is having so much fun. She is full of questions and so mannerly. Please, thank you. Of course, she and Todd share some laughs over burps at the lunch table. School calls and Camille has a headache, not sure if its a headache or a heartache and she needs to come home to see what she is missing. Soon we are all 3 outside then head up to school to get Lucas. They all 3 enjoy playing on the playground and A manages to do a pretty good job of keeping up with everyone. Her cries of "look at me" just delight me. Dance after school and A comes along like the trooper she is. I'm not sure if she is more fascinated with the water fountain, dance clothes, or watching Camille. My favorite thought is of the next morning when she tells me she wants to wear some dance shoes, but not those pink ones. I dig and find some tap shoes and our hardwood floors are now a little more distressed.
Our first morning A plops herself down at the kitchen table like she's been doing it for years. She laughs at all of us like we are the best comedians ever. Her laugh is so contagious, we all look at each other and laugh even more. A wants to go with me to take the kids to school. It is so neat to see things thru her eyes. We take for granted the garage door opener, the ice in the fridge, the pumpkin in the yard. Thanks Kris for giving her a pumpkin. We get everyone off to school and our day begins. Get the call from Camille's doc and the head scan is clear but there is a sinus infection. 21 days of antibiotics twice a day. Good grief. Poor thing. Luckily she can toss back a pill like a pro.
A and I begin our day. Play dough, paint, all those things I love. She isn't a tv girl and doesn't seem to even know who Shrek is. That is awesome. We make our first journey out. Discover her fav color is green as we go thru the bank drivethru. She likes music and keeps telling me to turn it up. No wonder she, Todd & Lucas have so much in common. We arrive at Target to get her new toy. She says she isn't going to use her pacie. I believe it. BTW, she found it in her coat pocket that morning. She touches every button on every toy in the toy section. She points to the moon sand kit, and yes, I 'm still hard hearted, because I say thats kind of messy. Ok, she says in stride. No fit, no nothin. Where are my kids to see this? She doesn't ask for a thing the whole trip. She settles on a giant squishy type ball that she finds very hilarious. Ok, I'm not too hard hearted, because the pacie does make its way back to the scene at bedtime that night.
She is having so much fun. She is full of questions and so mannerly. Please, thank you. Of course, she and Todd share some laughs over burps at the lunch table. School calls and Camille has a headache, not sure if its a headache or a heartache and she needs to come home to see what she is missing. Soon we are all 3 outside then head up to school to get Lucas. They all 3 enjoy playing on the playground and A manages to do a pretty good job of keeping up with everyone. Her cries of "look at me" just delight me. Dance after school and A comes along like the trooper she is. I'm not sure if she is more fascinated with the water fountain, dance clothes, or watching Camille. My favorite thought is of the next morning when she tells me she wants to wear some dance shoes, but not those pink ones. I dig and find some tap shoes and our hardwood floors are now a little more distressed.
The Pacifier
I feel like I am in a fog as papers and explanations are sat in front of me to sign. I can't imagine what Todd is thinking as he signs the papers. Its a little like sitting in a class where the teacher slips into a foreign language every once in awhile. They keep asking if I have any questions, and I have the glazed "duh" look on my face of "I'm feeling too stupid to even think of a question". Madeline & Lucas kick into super hostesses mode. A(as I will call the angel girl) is given a monster size glass of milk in a glass cup no less and I'm not sure how many cookies they eat on the sofa. I'm trying not to watch them as I continue with the signing. A is giggling and before I know it, she and Lucas are engaged in a game of hide and seek. Who can refuse the charms of Lucas? Of course, Madeline is just sucking in the tv which she was suppose to be grounded from.
Paperwork is finished and now here we are. Its after 10 when I get the tub filled and then have to remember that you can't leave a kid in the tub, you have to have all the stuff gathered. We get the stuff and she hops in. She is smiling and it is contagious. I get her in bed and remember the pacifier. Yes, the cps dude told me about the pacifier and that I should really keep up with that one. I know, less trauma, but a pacifier for a 4 year old. Ok, I can do this. Only thing is, I can't find the darn thing. She thinks she left it in cps dude's truck. I'm thinking, oh crap, I remember a certain Camilleybug that loved her pacie. I told A that I we'd either get her a new pacie tomorrow or that she could get a toy. She said ok, I patted her back and she fell asleep. Its the first but far from the last time that I will be amazed. Please know, this child has always lived with the same people. She did tell me that she didn't know if she could sleep in that bed. I'm thinking, there's no way I could probably sleep in that bed either and its only 25 steps away from mine. I'm a girl that likes her own bed & pillow. She sleeps until 6:30. Camille is ecstatic to meet A in the morning. They are 2 giggling girls. One brown curly top and one blond curly top. Finally, Camille can be a big sis.
Paperwork is finished and now here we are. Its after 10 when I get the tub filled and then have to remember that you can't leave a kid in the tub, you have to have all the stuff gathered. We get the stuff and she hops in. She is smiling and it is contagious. I get her in bed and remember the pacifier. Yes, the cps dude told me about the pacifier and that I should really keep up with that one. I know, less trauma, but a pacifier for a 4 year old. Ok, I can do this. Only thing is, I can't find the darn thing. She thinks she left it in cps dude's truck. I'm thinking, oh crap, I remember a certain Camilleybug that loved her pacie. I told A that I we'd either get her a new pacie tomorrow or that she could get a toy. She said ok, I patted her back and she fell asleep. Its the first but far from the last time that I will be amazed. Please know, this child has always lived with the same people. She did tell me that she didn't know if she could sleep in that bed. I'm thinking, there's no way I could probably sleep in that bed either and its only 25 steps away from mine. I'm a girl that likes her own bed & pillow. She sleeps until 6:30. Camille is ecstatic to meet A in the morning. They are 2 giggling girls. One brown curly top and one blond curly top. Finally, Camille can be a big sis.
The Call
I'm laughing as I type the title to this post for that is exactly what this journey has been, a calling from God. From time I was in my early 20's I've felt nudges about things to do and I never doubted what those nudges were. This has probably been my biggest nudging, perhaps kicking, but ultimately the calling that I felt was what God had intended for my family. Praise God for putting Todd's heart where he would join me in that call. Thanks to our homegroup for their prayers.
Monday morning I'm taking Camille to the doc for a headache. Its not her eye sight so he wants to do a head scan & sinus scan. Yes, I am scared. While we are in the doc office, Todd calls and says that he answered the home phone because Covenant Kids was calling. That Todd answered the home phone was a miracle in itself. He said after listening to the description of the 2 kids, it was evident that this was more than we were ready to handle. I flopped back and forth about it but ultimately knew he was right. Took Camille for her scan that afternoon. She is a champ. "Best lil person" the technician has ever seen and only subjected to a tiny amount of radiation. Left the office, dropped Camille with Todd, and went to see the middle school counselor. I was thinking on my way there, I could probably use a good visit myself with a counselor today. Talked with her and she agreed to kick Madeline's rear into action for some papers not turned in. Well, not really, but she did have some suggestions. Got home and Todd, in typical fashion, had papers to be mailed out by 5 that had to be printed & notorized. I'm rushing to the notary when I get "THE CALL". Can we take a 4 year old girl? A brief description & I say yes. The girls at the accountant's office are the first to know. Todd doesn't answer his phone so I give a text. At 5:30 I'm told that it might not work out. At 7 I'm told they will be there at 8:15. I don't even panic. I am so ready for this, and hey, I can do a 4 year old girl. I get the cookies in the oven, Camille is asleep, and we wait.
Monday morning I'm taking Camille to the doc for a headache. Its not her eye sight so he wants to do a head scan & sinus scan. Yes, I am scared. While we are in the doc office, Todd calls and says that he answered the home phone because Covenant Kids was calling. That Todd answered the home phone was a miracle in itself. He said after listening to the description of the 2 kids, it was evident that this was more than we were ready to handle. I flopped back and forth about it but ultimately knew he was right. Took Camille for her scan that afternoon. She is a champ. "Best lil person" the technician has ever seen and only subjected to a tiny amount of radiation. Left the office, dropped Camille with Todd, and went to see the middle school counselor. I was thinking on my way there, I could probably use a good visit myself with a counselor today. Talked with her and she agreed to kick Madeline's rear into action for some papers not turned in. Well, not really, but she did have some suggestions. Got home and Todd, in typical fashion, had papers to be mailed out by 5 that had to be printed & notorized. I'm rushing to the notary when I get "THE CALL". Can we take a 4 year old girl? A brief description & I say yes. The girls at the accountant's office are the first to know. Todd doesn't answer his phone so I give a text. At 5:30 I'm told that it might not work out. At 7 I'm told they will be there at 8:15. I don't even panic. I am so ready for this, and hey, I can do a 4 year old girl. I get the cookies in the oven, Camille is asleep, and we wait.
We get our license
Fast forward and we are finally settled in our new home. School is started and its time to get going again on the process of getting our foster care license. We get everything turned in and have our home study scheduled for a Thursday. I'm feeling a little nervous about it all until I walk into The Village Church on the Sunday before and what is there, The Heart Gallery. Takes my breath away and takes me back to my first foster care meeting. I know God is watching over us and it even becomes more evident when I am speaking to one of the church staff who tells me that The Heart Gallery wasn't scheduled to come until the following Sunday. God is not whispering in my ear. He is shouting and that makes it so easy to follow. And, we did it. Passed our home study with only a few minor glitches. As of a little over a week ago, we are now a licensed foster care home. The day I got news of the license, my stomach would flop every time the phone rang. Finally I settled in and knew that I had to give it to God. He has certainly carried us this far, I knew He wouldn't leave us now.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The beginning of our Journey
I would have to saw that writing this takes me back to the time when I was between 10 and 15 years old. I was constantly with paper. My greatest writings always included a big family. My daydreams included running an orphanage. Fast forward, I'm not saying how many years, but I'm picking up my writing again. About 3 years ago Trietsch United Methodist Church had a Heart Gallery showing. This is a gallery of photos of children in North Texas who are in the foster care system and waiting for adoption. I guess this was my first real step in looking into the fostering program. Following the Heart Gallery, there was an informational meeting. This was what I would call "testing the water" or rather God planting the first step in my heart. Last winter Todd & I attended our first informational meeting together. North Texas has agencies that work with CPS to train, inform, find families, etc.. It was from that meeting we were given about 15 names of agencies that we could choose from. From there, I had narrowed the list down to 2. It was on a Thursday and I'd set my goal of making a decision on an agency by that Friday. I took C to gymastics and happened to sit next to a mom with a new baby. As she was talking on the phone I heard her say "cps". I couldn't help but ask her about the sweet baby. She said that she was a foster mom and the baby came to her a day old! Of course, I had to ask her which agency she used. It was one of the 2 I had on my short list. Covenant Kids. It wasn't her day to be at gymnastics, her son was doing a makeup class. This was my first huge sign of how God is working in my life. We completed our training and then the process slowed down as we moved to a house a mile down the road. At times I thought we wouldn't really continue this journey, but God has plans for us. One moment that truly sticks out in my mind is when I was leaving the house with M and she had struck every nerve in my body. I was thinking to myself, I can't even manage the kids I have, how am I suppose to be a foster mom. I got into the van and the radio was having a dial in show. The woman was sharing about what a difference her foster mom had made in her life. Ok, God, I am listening! There have many other instances of talking to people who have either foster/adopted/or been affected in some way by this. They are also the reason why we have stayed on course.
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