Humility

Today's lesson is one of humility.  We may be a foster care family but we live in a mostly clean house and have never had a bug infested home.  I know that, ummm, lice, knows no boundaries, I just thought that since I was 41 years old I was above and beyond getting it. Probably should back up a few weeks so that I can really set myself up for a mother of the year award.  Camille had been complaining about an itchy head. I'd scrubbed her head and checked it over.  Saw nothing.  A week or so went by, geez I'm really a bad mom, and I sent Todd to the store for some shampoo to help her itchy scalp. He says pharmacist wants to know if she has lice.  I've checked.  Nope.  She's prone to itchy skin so I just figured it had moved(horrible choice of verbs) to her head.  Send her to gram & gramps house with her new anti  itching shampoo.   She leaves and I then notice an itchy rash on my neck.  Todd won't really pay attention to it and a friend says to take a Benadryl.  Fast forward a week and we have traveled to get Camille and make the grandparent circuit. Camille spends the night at cousin Emma's house and I get a call this morning from my brother that Aunt Joyce is doing a braid in Camille's hair and discovers bugs.  Oh no,  my worst fears have come true.  After being a school teacher and having the dreaded seemed like weekly head checks, then working in the hair salon, it couldnt be happening.  I can't leave to go get her cause I have no car.  He stops at the pharmacy, gets the stuff and brings her to me.  In the meantime I have a small breakdown, I can't believe the poor child has been suffering from this so long.  I am a very bad mommy. I won't go into details, but almost 2 hours later I have taken care of Camille.  Then it's my niece, madeline, nephew, sister in law, Todd, gramps, and Lucas.  No one else had it, thank goodness, that is but me.  A day spent doing hair and my dad & Joyce spent part of their day at the laundromat disinfecting anything that could fit in the dryer.  I'm not sure if Joyce really tore up the carpet in Emma's room or not.  The littles seemed to weather the storm and weren't infected.   A very long day. Can't imagine what my dreams will be of.  Humbled by my lice.  And now the nickname that Camille has always had will never be the same.  Poor kid.  Camilley-bug. Buggles.  Bug.  little bug.  Ruined forever.

My prayer requests

Since I seem to be on a roll tonight I'll go ahead and mention my prayer concerns for the foster kids.  Too bad I don't stay more up to date.  I keep thinking I'm going to have an afternoon to catch up or maybe I need a month.  Just doesn't seem to happen and when I get a free moment there is so much to do.  Doesn't seem possible that N & BG have been here for 10 months.  The entire school year plus some.  Thank goodness for Helen or I don't think I would have any time to catch my breath from the crazy busy mess of a 20 month old.  The kids are doing remarkable.  The transformation in N is nothing short of a miracle.  Praise God for that.  He is laughing, joking, splashing, and thoroughly bonded with Buddy.  He can laugh and appreciate humor like I never thought he could.  He understands teasing, mild sarcasm, and just how wonderful it is to be loved by a man.  Buddy has made such a difference in N.  My prayer is that this sweet boy never has to put up the walls to protect himself from a relationship with a man again.  I also pray that whatever the future holds that he will always know how much we love him and that he is going home to be with his mommy because she's his mommy, not because Nina and Buddy don't want him here.   I cannot begin to think of what it will be like for BG to understand where her Ni Ni, Buddy, Madewin, Uckie, Mille, Hen(Helen) and the rest of the Gilmartins are when she goes home.  This is home.  This is all she knows.  My heart weeps at the thought of her waking up in the middle of the night and crying for me and I won't be there. Prayers of protection,safety, and understanding for this sweet baby. Court is this week.  Not sure if that makes a difference in decision making or not.  It's time.  It's actually past time in my opinion.  I love these children and most days I'm in no hurry to see them go, but the longer they are here the harder it will be for them to leave.  My prayers have been to know how to help them, how to help their mom.  I have been strongly convicted that I need to have them closer to me so that my team and I can support this young woman and be there for N & BG.  She has a temporary job in the bubble.  I'm praying that it goes well and that we can move her closer to Flower Mound.  I would love to be apart of their daily lives.  Please add this to the prayers.   I can't stop there.  I got to go see our first foster child, A, and her brother and sister that lived with us for awhile, too.  Ariana, McKinsey, and Isaiah.  They will forever remain in my heart.  Ariana is living with her grandparents who are mommy and daddy to her.  The are affected by the vicious disease of poverty.  Then they are watching McKinsey and Isaiah for the summer.  Those 2 were adopted by a relative.  They were all 3 so happy and healthy when we met them at McDonalds.  They each willingly let me hug and kiss on them as much as I could.  They wanted to know why Buddy wasn't there, he had meetings.  They found great joy in retreating to former patterns of following Camille and being chased by Lucas.  Madeline made sure all drinks and wishes were met.  Love them and know that they are being loved.  Not sure that they have the best places to sleep at night or as they all pile into the front seat of pickup truck and Camille is horrified that they aren't in booster seats, my heart is sad for them.  I'm praying that I can have a clear answer in the best way to help them.  It is so good to see them and to know that they are stable in their lives and weren't afraid of who they would be leaving McDonalds with. They understood I was just there to visit.  Of course, McKinsey wanted to come home with me.  You know I would have taken her.

A glimpse of life outside the bubble for Madeline

My heart is so full of pride for Madeline.  She just returned from a week long mission trip to south Dallas where she got a glimpse of life outside the bubble.  She came home humbled by the experience, attached to a 4 year old girl who doesn't speak English and that had never seen anyone with blue eyes.  I listened with intent to the details that Madeline kept adding to her experience.  I'm not sure if she is inspired to learn Spanish now instead of French but the door is now open a bit to the idea.  I think she would have brought the sweet child and her siblings, perhaps even abuela,  home with her if she could.  Don't know where she would get those ideas.  I think that I feel most like, job well done for me.  This smart, loving, daughter of mine had no interest in little ones before we started fostering.  I don't think she ever picked up a baby doll and she tolerated Camille for the most part.  Now I am able to see another whole nurturing side of her.  Then to know that she is able to leave her comfort zone and go share her talents and her love for Jesus, is beyond amazing to me.  To listen to this 14 year old share her prayer concerns, lifts my heart to depths I never knew.  I am so proud of her.  There is nothing sweeter than witnessing someone so dear to me, growing closer to God and able to share it with others. I can't wait to see where this will lead her.  Praise God for my blue eyed girl getting to travel to south Dallas and find a closer walk with Jesus.  

Camille update

I must make a small confession that I might have turned into a small time dance mom over the course of 3 days when Camille decided to try out for the competitive team at dance.  I've always known the girl was a dancer, I just wasn't sure if she was going to go with that of not.  After watching here play basketball I was even more confident in my assessment.  She decided the week before recital that she wanted to tryout.  Go for it, we told her.  Went to the session to learn the jazz and ballet routines for the tryouts.  No way, was my initial thoughts when I saw how fast the jazz routine was.  Actually, I may have even said something to the affect of there's not a snowballs chance in hell.  Too bad Becky heard me say that.  Anyways, I recorded the routines and then became a dance mom.  Spent the next 2 days practicing with Camille.  Yep, I learned them too.  Laughter, tears, and we worked really hard.  Going into tryouts I was 50/50  about her success.  Or maybe of my success.  I knee I couldn't have pulled it off and remembered everything.  Watched her through the magic mirror and she was amazing.  Everything I'd known about here body moving like a dancer and her confidence was outstanding.  I was beyond proud of how she did.  She is now a member of the mini company and I have put away my dance mom suit.   She is also growing up so much.  She is still the best helpers for the little.  She will play N and take care of BG.  She is also a super helper st school.  Her teachers gave her the "teacher" award because of the way she is so helpful to anyone in her class that needs it. We survived her first birthday party sleepover.  5 precious friends who swam and played.  Only had one puke and one complain of her ear hurting.  All in all it confirmed my belief that I hate sleepovers. I can't believe that she will be in 3rd grade.  Seems like a lifetime ago that I taught third grade.   We continue to seek Dr E's help in building up Camille's resistance so that she doesn't get knocked down by so many sinus infections.  Bloodwork in May shows everything moving in a positive direction.  Still very hard to try and eliminate glutten and dairy from her diet.  She's very good about trying. She has been having a short fuse when dealing with N ever since school got out.  Probably too much togetherness.  She likes having a built in playmate when it is convenient for her but if her mood is off then he gets the brunt of it.  She is usually very patient when dealing with BG. She is going to love her week away with Gram & Gramps.  

Luckie update

"Uckie" is the absolute sweetest sound that you can hear coming from BG whenever Lucas is in the room.  He continued to have rock star status in here eyes.  When she wants him to hold here she rests her head on his shoulder like he's the greatest thing ever.  Of course, he is.  We all followed him around all spring watching him play lacrosse.  Gotta admit that I do like the sport and he is fun to watch play. I love to tease him about his lacrosse stick being like iphis blankie because he carries it around all the time.  As his body is growing we have been working on making some changes with his ADD.  Found a new doctor and definitely like his whole body approach.  Adjusting his me, adding some supplements, and trying to watch his protein and carb intake.  As I have said to a few moms lately who are struggling with sons diagnosed edith ADD, it would be such a travesty for Lucas to not have his treatment because of the huge difference in makes in him being highly successful.  He is so smart.  Can't believe that he is going to be in middle school.

Update about us & Madeline

Someday I am going to kick myself for letting these last few months go by without blogging.  It's been such a treat to go back and read over my earlier entries, because to be quite truthful, my memory usually stinks.  So to try and recap the past few months on a weekend short term memory but actually it's probably moved into the horrible long term memory.   Gotta begin with the amazing way out family just is.  After all this time with N and BG living with us, they are our family.  The stinky part of it is that we still have all these rules because of foster care.  The stupidest rule is that I can't use Madeline to babysit.  She is probably the best babysitter I've seen.  Never thought it would happen.  The girl who never played with dolls, who tortured her brother and sister for 12 years of here life.  But, she is growing up.  The torture part still goes on to some extent but with N and BG she is awesome.  That's been her saving grace this past week when here mouth runs on full throttle and she can't turn it off to be respectful, I will then witness her being so kind to the little.  We went to the Dallas World Aquarium and she was in charge of N the whole time.  Held his hand, pointed out everything, lifted him up, and smiled and laughed.  Over the weekend we were at the lake and she is is tender and concerned with N's safety.   He rides the tube with here and she holds on to him so protectively.  When N got on with Lucas and Camille, Lucas in one of his nonthinking moments, tips the tube.  I'm grabbing for my life jacket because I'm worried that N might freak out.  Before I can do anything, Madeline has jumped in and has N in her arms.  Atta girl.  As I said its a good thing for these moments because on the other hand, I 've been ready to take her out.  It was a crazy busy end of the school year for here with the production of Fiddler on the Roof.   She needed to have her hair darkened for her role of Chava.  We got the yucky rinse out mousse the first time but the girl has enough hair for entire family.  We tried a Demi product the second time and it looked good but the washes out in 4-6 shampoos was a joke.  Came back to bit me in the butt all the times I've changed my hair color, as I listened to here say she should just dye it dark, after all "it's just hair".  Don't know where she's heard that before.  Got her first hi lights this week so she is back to being a blonde and happy about it.  Can't believe that she is going to be in high school.