Clothes

Clothes.  When you have 5 kids, there are a bunch of clothes.  And my least favorite chore in the world is laundry.  If I don't stay on top of things, all falls apart very quickly.  Changing of seasons is a big deal.  Sorting through everyone's clothes, finding what fits and what doesn't.  Easter outfits.  5 coordinating outfits.  When I go to Old Navy, I literally go into every section except for the men's.  I guess I could include Todd and get him something new but if you saw his closet, you would understand why I don't shop for him.  Usually just start back with BG clothes working my way up to Mad.  I'm on a no-shopping for Mad until she can show better responsibility for her clothes.  Did find a way to finally get her room cleaned, told her that if it wasn't picked up by Wednesday then I was going to do it for her.  Scared her and she did it.  Picked up, but not clean.  We are at least making progress.
Worst part about this warm weather is giving baths to the lil kids every night.  When I am tired at the end of the day thats one of the last things I want to do, and unfortunately no one else is really capable of helping.  I mean Todd could, but its not exactly his thing.
Had a little impromptu blessing when I suddenly decided to pop into a new salon for a pre Easter pedicure.  A few minutes after I sat down, in comes Lancine.  We got to spend almost an hour catching up.  We went through our initial foster care training together and both attend the same church just not the same service.  They have adopted a sweet little girl who was about 18 months old when they got her but is now around 3 1/2.  It hasn't been without some major battles, but prayers that all will go fabulously for that sweet child.

A Little Bit of Germs

I thought that I had forgotten my password since its been so long but my fingers typed it in without my deep thinking having to go into affect.  What a day.  What a time it has been since Christmas.  I think there has been maybe 2 weeks when someone around here hasn't been sick.  I'm thankful today for BG being on antibiotics.  Last week she had double ear infection and another bout of hand, foot, and mouth.  We were in my bathroom while I was putting winter clothes away.  She found 2 empty water bottles and was playing with them.  Guess she got thirsty cause next thing I know is the water bottles are dipping in the toilet and she is having herself a lil drink.  Gag.  Only thing that saved me from really getting grossed out is the fact she is taking antibiotics.  Building up her germ resistance.  Terrible 2's are fast approaching.  She emptied the tub of wipes, stood on N's bed & started peeling off his wall stickers, screamed when she had to get out of the tub, ran from me when she saw I was tucking N in bed.  Did I mention this was all this afternoon, of which she took an hour nap and Helen had her for 3 hours?  I've decided to start exercising again so that I can keep up with her.  That's the disadvantage of being an old mom.  Today she was entertained by my sweating in front of her while she ate her cereal.  We'll see how long it lasts.

As if its not bad enough to have a baby wearing me out, today I broke down and got a shocker thing for Pixie to set by the front door in hopes of keeping her from running for it every chance she gets.  Got the collar on her, set the little box by the front door.  Spent the morning watching her steer clear of it.  Just took a couple of times and she had it figured out.  Smart dog, I thought. So. . . I thought I'd do the real test.  I step outside and crack the door a little. She immediately hears the door open and comes racing through the tiny opening.  I grab her only to realize that we are within range of the shocker.  Its shocking her, its shocking me and all I can do is drop the dumb dog.  She races off.  I immediately call Nicki and tell her to be on lookout.  Don't care about the dog but want the $150 worth of new equipment she is wearing.  Dog comes back.  My arm tingles for at least 2 hours.  I can't stand d-dog.  Dumb dog.

N asked me about the men out on the golf course today.  He didn't know what that was.  I gave him my brief description and he says he would like to play when he is bigger.  I ask him if he will be living with mommy or Nina then.  He says Nina.  I ask if he would like to live with Mommy, and he says he likes it with Nina.  Breaks my heart.  He is doing so great. 

Camille can wrestle BG into her pj's, Madeline comes out of hibernating in her room only when BG is up from her nap, Lucas and N are having a giggle fest in the van on the dance drive tonight.  We are a family of 7. 7 months they have been with us.  Wow.  Life is good.

New Glasses

It is with mixed emotion that I say that I was right about N's vision.  Every time he runs into something I wondered if it was vision problems or just lack of coordination.  After 2 1/2 hours at a pretty lousy doctor's office, he now has new glasses.  Looks really cute in them.  Madeline says he looks smart.  He is a smart kid.  Not smart enough to know that throwing a fit will keep him from getting drops in his eyes for dilation, and thats another horrible sidenote that I don't want to have to go into.  Hope this keeps him from running into walls, but I hate it that he has to put up with the hassle of wearing glasses.  Too bad I was right. 
Little redeeming qualities for Madeline perk up every now and then.  I needed just a 15 minute shut eye in order to finish the evening.  She agreed to watch BG for me.  And, drum roll please, she changed a poopie diaper during that time.  Amazing.  Thanks, Madeline.  There is hope in your future.
Spent the evening at mini society for the elementary school.  Favorite thing about it is seeing all the neighborhood families come out and support the kids and the items they are selling.  Lucas had 38 bracelets he sold.  Notice I didn't say,"made", not exactly sure of how many he made but fairly certain that my percentage was higher than his. 
Case manager came by today and hung out with us.  She is a sweet, young woman.  Shared my concerns with her about N.  The big question was if she knew of how long the kiddos would be with us.  She's getting mixed feedback from her superiors.  I'm sure I gave mixed feedback, too.  I think I even confuse myself with the feedback I'm giving her.  I am worried about N.  Worried how his mom will handle him.  Worried that she doesn't have the sources to back her up if he gives her difficulties.  He is definitely making progress here.  I can honestly say that.  I think he benefits by being with us and that we can help him further by keeping him longer.  Wacko.  The kid that's driving me crazy, that I would say that.  It gets even wackier when I think of BG.  We are head over heels, 110%, in-love, smitten, and devoted to her.  I can say that for everyone in the house, everyone that she meets.  I know Helen will back me on this one.  She brings us so much joy every single second.  But. . . and there's my wackiness, I fear that the longer she is here the harder it will be for her to leave us.  We are all she knows.  The Stanfields with the Gilmartins are filling her life with constant love and learning.  I am very worried that she will be devastated when she doesn't have NiNi, Buddy, Nadaline, (can't say Lucas), Mil, di dog, and her beloved Helen in her life.  She is sung to, danced to, cuddled, cradled, held, swung, lifted high, strolled, and 1000 other things and that's just in one days time.  My heart aches thinking about how she will miss us.  And, yes, I will always miss her, but I still am confident that it is my job to be Jesus's hands and feet to care for this sweet BG while she needs us.  I know we are doing exactly what we are suppose to be doing in caring for her during this time of her life.  I am so thankful to be enjoying it so much but I think that it might be best for her to go home sooner rather than later.  Fortunately, I hold on to the power of Jesus and rely on his plan being far greater than mine.  Please join me in prayers for the judge and the other people involved in making the decisions about BG & N.  In the meantime,  I will love on BG & N as much as I can.  They are blessings to me.

No More Ba-Ba's

A week of healing, listening, growing, and of course, blessings.  Finally everyone in the house, including myself, surived sinus/allergy struggles.  Healing.  Being able to sleep makes the world so much nicer.  Listening.  Madeline learned a very valuable lesson about the necessity to communicate and listen to a very dear friend in order to mend hurt feelings.  Listening to the person face to face, not through text.  Listening to the person face to face and not listening to what others might think they are interpreting.  Wednesday was a very long day.  A lot of tears, but in the end, with listening, it was happy tears and hugs.  I hope it was a lesson learned.  All in all I can't believe that with Madeline being in 8th grade we have never encountered any problems with her and her friends until this week.  Very amazing.  Makes me concerned about Camille and her friends when she comes home talking about so and so being mad at her and not being her friend.  Not once did Madeline ever encounter this.  Madeline is blessed with wonderful friends.  So glad the friendship was restored this week. 
Growing.  Growing in faith as I watch God work in our home and our family.  BG growing up as I put the bottles away for good tonight.  I finally decided if she was going to be broken of bottles it had better be now or never.  We did it with very little struggle.  Her calcium intake has significantly decreased so my next goal is getting more milk in her.  She is amazing in all that she is learning and doing.  I will put items into the grocery cart and she tries to repeat every word that I say.  Helen has her singing hip hop songs while dancing in the car.  I don't think I would ever have pin pointed this as being a favorite age, but BG is making it so.  She brings delight to all of us.
N continues to struggle with behavior.  Gram said it best as describing his behavior as passive agressive.  The beginning of the week was tough but then the blessings began.  Becky &  Helen devised a plan that Becky picks up N from school on Tuesdays and returns him just before bedtime. Helen takes N & BG on Thursdays until bedtime.  The break for me and the extra positive attention for Nathan has helped tremendously. I am so thankful for my friends who heard my cries and didn't just listen, but took action.  What a blessing to have friends step in when family is not close by.  This is the longest we have had foster children in our home.  Before it was 4 months or less and I was able to re-energize between kids, get my house in order, or just take time to breath.  It has all caught up with me and while I wouldn't change the journey we are on, I have been tired.  With my friends help, BG taking a 2 hour nap Thursday morning, a girls day out with Nicki, and an all day outing with the hatched kids today, and I am hopeful for the week ahead.  I am at peace with N and can go into the week being hopeful that I will be a positive role model, and be patient in my dealings with his behavior. It's going to be a great week.

Basketball

Friday morning.  A day of blessing. A reminder of what I am doing. My gift to Jesus. My family's gift. Todd & I headed to Ft Worth at 7 am to be there at 8:15 for the adoption of baby. He is now called Josiah. He'll forever be known in our house as "baby". He is 8 months old and perfectly precious. I got to hold him and sneak in a few kisses. My constant prayers over him when he was with us for a little over a month have been answered. He is healthy, happy, and has a warm, loving, family that loves the Lord. I am so thankful that we got to go witness his official  adoption. Definitely a day of celebration. So fortunate to get to stay in touch with him and his family.  Today was a day of basketball. Lucas's team had their first win of the season. He lands on the floor near where I'm sitting & I yell "Get up!". He looks over and grins at me with the smile that will forever melt my heart. Too bad that he couldn't hear BG echo my "Get up". Wasn't quite as audible but the infliction was dead on the same as mine. Todd & I had to laugh. A great ending to a winning day with Lucas throwing up a basket as the buzzer sounds. 2 points. Super Lucas.  Ballerina basketball was next or at least that's how I refer to Camille. Madeline watched her for the first time and says she is going to work with her on her running. She wants to know what kind of leaping that is as she goes down the court. Could be an interesting lesson. 2nd half, Camille guards the girl I've deemed as the pageant girl. Her hair is in perfect curls(which of course it is picture day) but she is even more fearful of the ball than Camille. A great learning experience for our ballerina Camille. So proud of her for trying something new.  The day ends with the hatched kids making an impromptu trip to watch the Globetrotters with their daddy. This is when I don't mind having the excuse of staying home with the little ones. Curled up under a blanket, catching up on my dvr, wishing for some hot cider. Allergies, cold, or another sinus infection. Whatever it is, I hope it goes away soon. 

Red Plastic Cups

I guess I'm so far removed from the days of seeing fraternity houses that the thought never crossed my mind that red plastic cups on my front lawn might make this look like a fraternity house.  My case manager who visited this week, who is in her early 20's, happened to mention the similarities.  Stanfield party house.  Actually I was thinking more luminaries of red cups lining my sidewalk, but actually it was probably more like tea party.  On the other hand, I wasn't home, Buddy was in charge when the red cups appeared so who knows what the actual scenario was.
My morning devotion this week read about giving gifts to Jesus.  My heart went to the foster children in my home and how I set out into this venture to do just that.  Give the gift of loving these children as a gift to Jesus.  It is in this week that I have struggled with this gift.  N has amped up his "power struggles" and I too easily butt heads with him.  He is testing my patience at every turn.  Its not that I don't recognize the signs or know what to do.  I'm a seasoned veteran at strong willed children.  I think that the concern lies in that this gift I'm suppose to be giving to Jesus isn't that easy, especially this week.  I know that my patience are low, that I am struggling for the positives.  I find little comfort in the counselor who politely grins as N refuses to put on his coat when we are leaving her office and when I ask him to stay behind the red line on the sidewalk so he doesn't get run over, he steps on top of the red line.  There are always hard days as parents even with the hatched kids, days when I really don't like my kids. I know this intellectually, I still must summon up strength to continue to give this gift to Jesus.  Prayers for strength, endurance, and of course, patience. 

Material Stuff

Usually when I don't write for awhile its because we are out of town or because I'm extremely busy or tired.  For MLK weekend, we headed to Taos.  Todd came home with a coat for me to take to Taos & I'm still perplexed about it.  It was an awesome snowboarder looking coat with cool Japanese graphics going up the body of it.  For those of you that don't know, I am not a snowboarder, I am not a skier.  I am a hot chocolate drinker.  I'm not sure if Todd thinks I'm that cool snowboarder, wishes I was, or was just generally confused. Anyways, cool coat went back and he brought me home a long, cover my hiney coat that is much better for someone that sits on their backside than takes the slopes.  We enjoyed our weekend in the 1300 sq foot house.  Supergram came and stayed with N & BG.  Uncle B & Sutton went with us.  It was a weekend of reflection for me in seeing how we were quite comfortable in the small house, conscious of conserving water, and keeping the wood fire burning to warm the family room.  Since I've been home, I've been doing a lot of thinking.  Second guessing any fluff that I might have otherwise bought.  Not sure where all of this is going or what God has in mind, but my mind is listening.
The night we got home, BG was up 3 times.  I wasn't sure if she was sick or just punishing me for leaving her behind.  Turns out she was sick.  I think she's probably not been feeling well for a couple of weeks and what I thought was the beginning of the terrible 2's was really just not feeling great.  Today she is back to her old self.  Thank goodness.
We slide back into life in the bubble with lacrosse practice beginning, middle school play tryouts for Fiddler on the Roof, and grade cards.  Cleaning out more clothes from the kids rooms.  Packing a box to sen dto A, KK, and Z.  Trying to sort thru the garage.  So thankful for all that we have, but wondering if there is more. More in store for us.  I can't wait to see what God's plan is.