My Music Girl

Well, you know, that if I'm 5 days behind on the Young and the Restless that things have been slightly crazy around here. It was a rough week of sleep so I went to bed early every night. Z had a tough time. It was a little like starting over after he was at the point where he would sleep thru the night. I can't imagine what is going thru his mind.
The highlight of the week was getting to see Madeline in the play, The Music Man. She was Mrs. Squires. The transformation from the person she was on the stage last year to the confident, charismatic character this year was amazing. I am so proud of her. We are blessed with an outstanding choir and theatre teacher. I am confident that it was a life changing experience for Madeline, judging from the growth she had from being in the play. Thanks Miss Black and Mrs. Wilkinson! She had a great support system at the play. Gram came in for the week, Gramps joined the party on Friday, and Grandma & Grandpa on Saturday. Todd had practiced the cheering section with the kids. Every time Madeline came on stage, Z would clap. For a squirmy little 3 year old he was mesmerized seeing his "Madwin" on the stage.
Lucas won his first lacrosse game and he scored a goal! Coach Todd must be doing some awesome things with the team. Sorry I missed it but I got to see The Music Man 2 nights in a row.
Last night gave me a glimpse into the teenage years as I went to the cast party with Madeline from 10-12. I told her the only way she could go was if I went. She was totally miffed by this. Needless to say, we both went. A great group of kids, but staying up that late is hard. I'm dreading the nights ahead when I have to stay awake waiting for her to come home. Who knows, maybe she'll be grounded for life by then.
Z & KK went for another visit to Auntie's house this weekend. I had foster care training classes so Todd took them to the meeting spot. In order to be foster care certified you have to complete 30 hours of training a year. 10 of those hours have to be in Psychotropic Meds and the other is Behavioral Management. Gram joined me for both classes so that she can now stay with the kiddos overnight. Post service classes have been much better than the preservice. Saturday's class was so interesting when we listened to at least 20 people tell their stories and the journey they were in right now. Prayer requests were posted on the board. Believe it or not, my foster care home was probably one of the more "normal". I am amazed at the generosity of these people. God is truly at work. Many had multiple children from the same mother after learning about the mother having another child. One of the best stories was when a couple were sharing their journey and have a 2 week baby in their care that is being "detoxed" before going to the family who is working on their certification. About 5 people later, another couple said that baby would be theirs. They have 2 of the other siblings and were not anticipating getting another child so their certification was not up to date. It was inspiring to see the 2 couples get together to share their love for this child. Prayers for this 2 week old baby and both families that are loving him.
KK came home today saying she had a good time. They were both happy to see me. She is back to have canker sores, had a tummy ache tonight, and at bedtime prayed that God would not take her away from her family. I was so glad that we skipped our home group so that I could be here for her tonight. She is so confused. No 5 year old should have to have this stress in her life. Please pray for KK and that this week will bring some answers as to where she will be living.
As for me, I am thankful for my home, for getting to go to foster care class where I could see how God continues to work in amazing ways in so many families lives. Of course, at class it was brought up that if every family took in 1 child, there would be no more children in foster care. Just a little something to think about.

Word of God Speak

The weekend was a respite & a time for thinking. I took KK & Z to the Kroger parking lot on Saturday morning. I had their little bag all packed to go to a strangers house. Auntie was there with 2 of her boys when we arrived. Took my car seat & crammed them into her compact car. I so wanted to make sure they were buckled in properly. I was wondering if her kids behaved better than mine cause I could only imagine the fighting that would go on with mine sitting so close to one another. No tears from them so no tears from me.

Lucas's basketball game. Then a night out with just 2 kids. Camille & A were the only ones at home. We went out for dinner & a little shopping. A certainly enjoyed the quiet special time. I even got in some book reading.

It was quiet Sunday morning & I missed my parade of kids. I mean we still had 5 with the addition of lucas's friend but was missing my other 2. Camille was feeling well enough & the cough was under control so she went to Sunday school, too. I'd said that I was eating out every meal so we did! I do love to eat out. It's not that I hate cooking. It's just the cleanup & the production of getting 6 kids fed. I probably should watch the Duggars & get some more tips.

Picked up kiddos & KK was happy & said she had a fun time. Z clung to my neck & had a rough afternoon. I held him close & rocked him at least 3 different times. Can't imagine what is going on in his head. Gram is back in town. Even knowing the kids were out of school she still came yesterday. It was a rough Sunday evening & it was great to have her back. She even took the lil girls & Lucas to the movie. He was MVP with helping with popcorn & drinks. Todd was also able to capture on video Lucas reading to Z, that is until Lucas caught him & went to attack the cameraman. Beware paparazzi.

Driving to see my bunco babes & was listening to Word of God Speak by Mercy Me. It's amazing how you can listen to a song a million times but then at the very moment when your mind is racing, wondering about 2 children, the song plays and I am once again given a big kick. God knows the plan. I need to listen so that I can hear it. The rain came as tears fell down my cheeks and I am totally in love with my God who sends me huge winks just when I need them. Let the word of God speak.

Love

Last night consisted of getting up with Camille at 2 because if her cough. Z woke up at 3. I think he was just mad because I'd finally outsmarted him and got the baby gate so he can't escape at night. Got him some more water and rocked him a bit. Couldn't help but think of the book Love You Forever as I'm rocking this 35 pound boy. I will love him forever. Heard what I thought was a phone ringing at 4. And so went my restful night.

Spent 2 hours this morning taking Z & KK to their well check. Really liked the doctor so it was almost worth two hours time. Z went into wild mode. I got hit, punched, & spit at. That was even before the doc came. Poor guy is limping tonight from the shot in his leg. Good news is that no one in our house has tb. Who gets tb? Is that even around anymore? Another rule we have to follow. Yes, we are rule followers.

I packed the bag for KK & Z to visit their cousin tomorrow night. I hate the thought. Especially now when his lil leg is so sore. Maybe if all 6 kids were going I wouldn't mind so much. Now I'm just going to be thinking about those 2. They will miss Sunday school so much.

My heart melts as I sit on the sofa & can hear Todd reading to A & KK. I've always known what a great dad he is and to see & hear him being that same dad to the girls makes me love him more. Three day weekend ahead. Let's see what it brings our way. Hopefully another 80 degree day. I love Texas. I live flip flops. I love a fresh coat of toenail polish.

We love lasagna

Where do the days go?  Tuesday I went to pick KK up early at school for her supervised visit. I'm bragging to the secretary that I will have 2 whole hours to myself cause Todd is going to take the kids to their visit. Ha. Nurse comes out & says Camille is running a 101 temp. I spend the next 2 hours figuring out how to con a stubborn 6 year old into peeing in a cup, having blood drawn, a throat culture, and nose culture. Cost me $30 in Brilliant Sky gift card but she did it all. Flu and strep again. Yes, I'm once again reminded that I didn't get her a flu shot. T & Lucas go to Target that night for their $25 flu shots. I got mine at the health department for free today. Had to take KK & Z for tb tests so we did flu shots too. Again its stepping out of "the bubble"  i count 7 young hispanic wonen there who are pregnant.  I pray for the road they are on.  Super Becky came to stay with Camille. Of course Camille was confined to my room. Worked to my advantage since Becky was freed up to sweep, fold clothes, and load dishes. Its amazing what can be accomplished in an hour.  A huge thanks for the lasagnas we've enjoyed this week from Carmen & Becky. You know, my family could totally eat the same thing every meal and never complain. I won't say whose recipe was a bigger hit. 
Roller coaster ride begins again today as KK & Z are suppose to go Saturday morning to visit their relative who wants to have them live with her. The evil side of me was trying to devise a plan to make the kids act really bad so she wouldn't want to keep them. But, I'm taking the high road and turning to the only power I know that will lead these children to the home they need. Please pray for God's will to be done. 

Happy Valentine's Day

Something about having beds made makes me feel like my life is in order. Now that there are 3 more beds to make it takes a lot more for me to feel that way. Doesn't help that A & KK's room is the first thing you see when you come in the house. It's suppose to be the office. Has glass French doors on it. I have curtains hanging on the doors to hide the room but I've ended up pulling them back. The girls play in there with the doors locked so that Z doesn't come in and destroy their things. Now I can peek thru the glass to see them.
Started the day with heart pancakes. See, no big deal having 6 kids if you can serve heart pancakes. Of course everyone was happy with Valentine goodies waiting for them at the table. Finally back to trying to do our morning bible study at the breakfast table. Thinking about the scripture where Jesus says let the children come unto me. I wonder how taking Z to his room for time out since he can't be quiet fits with that scripture. I'm hoping that tomorrow he'll sit & be quiet. I know he can donut cause he will sit & listen to books for a long time. He's just testing me. We'll see who wins.
Dropped Z off at Sunday school & his teacher looks at him strangely. Last Sunday I'd asked for prayers for Z as he was suppose to leave our house. I asked the teacher if he had prayed for Z. Then I told him how I felt God had answered the prayer with Z getting to stay with us for a little longer or maybe a while longer, or who the heck knows. I have started all the normal placement appointments like I did for A. We have psychologist, well checks, dentist, and tb tests to do. I am reminded of what a huge time commitment it was when A moved in. Now I've got a few more things to juggle. I hate taking KK out of school for all this stuff. She loves school & is such a hard working student. Her face just lit up when I came into her classroom for her Valentine party. Luckily only 3 parties to cover today. Geez, can't imagine what a celebrity's life must be like. Of course nothing compares to the welcome Buddy receives when he walks in the door. He says its as good as having a bunch of dogs. That's it, our little kennel. Happy Valentines Day.

The Fun House

Another soap opera day. Got a call from cps case manager this morning that the kids weren't going to start weekend visits as part of transitioning into new home. Just when I'd psyched myself up that it would be okay. Guess God has a greater plan. The not knowing of the plan is the hard part. The believing that He does have a plan is the easy part. These kids certainly haven't had an easy time and I am so thankful to be able to share our home with them.

Our agency case manager came by for paperwork this afternoon. I think anyone that sits at my kitchen table watching my new family ends up sitting there with their jaw dropping. We are rather entertaining. Not enough for our own reality series but definitely enough for a blog. She saw every good & every bad behavior from KK & Z. I just looked at her and said,"See!" and she would document away. Didnt have to go into any details since she saw the live version. From Z biting A, to KK's drama, the dance squad, the fight club. She mentioned that it was fun at my house. Notice she only stayed for an hour. But, yes, we do have all the above, but we are having lots more fun as we settle into a comfortable routine. A only cried once today & she still has the bruised bite mark to show for her legitimate tears.

Todd's head is still swelling tonight. Madeline requested Panda Express for lunch. He even stayed. This wasn't good because Madeline later told him that one of her friends thought he was her older brother. Of course he was wearing his new midlife crisis costume. He wants to be a snowboarder. He was wearing a skull cap with his long hair hanging out the back. Yep, he does look cute and hey, if the only midlife crisis he has is this, life will be ok. Not sure what he thinks about my midlife crisis in doubling our kid capacity. He may even admit that he's quite smitten with all of them, too. And most days we aren't in crisis mode anymore, so midlife crisis wouldn't even fit. The fun house, sounds awfully much like the funny farm, and I guess most days that's what we are.

The Transition

I realize once again that the world of foster care can certainly be compared to a roller coaster ride. Waiting to hear what is going to happen to KK & Z and the more I wait the more I think that the home study for the relative isn't going to allow them to go there. I sometimes think this is good because I'd love to keep them, other times when chaos reigns, I think I could use a break. I wonder what is best for the kids and selfishly think they are adjusting really fantastically here and could continue doing so. My faith is such that I know all these thoughts are for naught as God has a greater plan for all of it. Its just remembering to place it all in His hands that I need to continue to do. Got a call from case manger saying the kids would be moved on Saturday or Sunday, just waiting for supervisors signature. I mentally start washing their sweet clothes, worrying about what KK will do on Monday since she won't have a classroom for a Valentine's party yet. I did call to see if the home study was really good. Later got another call that says they are going to try transitioning the kids into the relatives home. They are suppose to go there for the weekend and come home to me on Sunday night. I think, whoa, this is not what I had planned. I didn't get a divorce and now have to share time with someone, especially a stranger. Not exactly the rationale thought-processing that I should be having, but also not what I thought would happen. So, my mind switches gears and I being thinking of sharing them. I am scared for them. I can't imagine being tucked into a different bed on Saturday night. I will miss his sweet arms reaching for me and of KK saying "love ya, Nina." I just pray that God lifts them up and continues to watch over them as they struggle down life's road. I pray for the family they are going to live with as they have 4 older children. I smile as I think of what kind of crazy person would have 6 kids. I pray that their struggles end soon and that they find steady love in a home that will be there for them always. A forever home.