Relief & Regret

I sit on the sofa with a sigh of relief or perhaps a sigh of regret. The last 2 days have been continued fun with the kids. Even managed to get the 2 younger kids rooms deep cleaned today. Socks sorted, outfits ready & matched up for school. Madeline did her own or rather kept her door closed and locked to make me think she was working. Anyway, all seemed to be in order, then came the call. Only it was for 3 kids. I swore to myself I wouldn't do 6 kids again. All girls, ages 2,4, & 5. Ugh. We've been waiting so anxiously for this call. I said I needed to talk to Todd. He doesn't say no. That's usually my sign. Called back to get more information. Where was I on the list? First one they called, last one? Turns out I was the list. I shouldn't have even been on there since I'd told them to bury the fact that I could take 3 kids. They are smarter than that. Then I'm told the younger 2 are boys not girls. She wants to know if that changes things. I want to say heck yeah it does. There goes my princess parties. Camille & I had just tucked away about a million dress up dresses today. Guess lil boys will dress up too. After gathering more information, I said yes. Heart was racing thinking of what I needed to do to get ready. Excited. Nervous. Got the next call that the 2 year old has a digestive disease. And though it pains me to even say it, I have to say no. I would be at my limits with 6 kids but trying to care for special health needs wouldn't be fair to any of the children, particularly to me. And so I sit with a sigh of relief and a sigh of regret. Last thing she says is "I'll talk to you soon.". I sure hope so.